Congratulations, Jim Lilly!
We can’t wait to give you your award - only, we can’t quite decide which award to give you...
Best Free Food Hunter ‘18
When it comes to scoring a meal on the house, Jim’s knocked it out of the park this year. In addition to tucking away his $11,000 expense allowance ( yep, that’s taxpayer money) , Jim managed to chow down on $2,700 worth of free food and drinks paid for by lobbyists . Quite the appetite for a first-term State Legislature man! Jim pitched himself to Michigan voters as someone “accountable for results” - but judging by his first year in office, “results” smell more like beef tartare than, uh, improved quality of life for Michiganders. Thousands of kids in Michigan go hungry every day, but we’re glad to see Jim’s been working hard to find his own meal tickets around Lansing.
Rookie of the Year ‘18
What luck for Jim! That $2,700 in lobbyist-funded smorgasbords put him ahead of the rest of his freshman class: he sailed past the competition for first place in most corporate-sponsored fine dining. And third-place for the whole Legislature! If he can keep it up, he’ll be Number 1 in no time. Or, you know, voted out of office for shaking down lobbyists at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse instead of working to secure a better future for families in his district.
How else did Jim win Rookie of the Year? Well, just one year in Lansing, and Jim’s figured out how the game works. That $11,000 allowance and $2,700 in free food from lobbyists is on top of Jim’s $72,000 salary as a House member (That’s $20k higher than the median annual salary in Michigan).
And since the Legislature clocks in three days a week , kicking back for 21 whole weeks, seems like Jim’s really figured out how to make the job work for him. Work smarter, not harder, right? Jim’s constituents head to work five days a week to support their families - but they must be proud to send a representative to Lansing who’s just looking for his next chance to sit back and dig in. Want a little sauce with your roast, Jim?
That’s Betsy DeVos, Secretary of Education and another local in the pocket of big business! Talk about a match made on Lake Michigan. Jim’s been tripping over himself this year to support Betsy’s dangerous ideas for improving education. Whether it’s unaccountable charter schools or virtual schools bankrolled by hedge fund investors, Jim’s on board to gut public school . And since he sits on the Education committee, he’s got the access to make it happen. In a tidy little deal, Jim’s also endorsed by one of DeVos’s political front groups, the “Great Lakes Education Project.” Maybe he’s angling for an invitation to her summer home in nearby Holland - 22,000 square feet of lakefront property, complete with a helipad! Bet they have a few free steaks in there for you, Jim!
But it’s not just Betsy DeVos that he’s been cozying up to - in his first year, Rookie Jim Lilly has been in lockstep with the Republican party bosses from Day 1. Jim’s voted with the top brass on issues big and small, and it doesn’t matter if it steers resources away from his own constituents towards the Detroit suburbs . Meanwhile Michigan families are struggling to make ends meet , and the state lags behind in key indicators like median annual income and education levels.
Jim’s so sure the “R” next to his name is a green light to free meals with lobbyists. And he’s hoping that invite for jet-skiing with Betsy is close behind.
Do you remember asking Jim Lilly to go to Lansing to let zoos breed large carnivores? Cause that’s what he just did.
Do you remember saying Hey Jim, the subs at my kid’s school are too qualified and they really manage the classroom setting so well. They don’t need 90 hours of training - about 60? We can only think of one person who might have said something like that to Jim.
But this last one is a real stumper. Which of our neighbors, bless their heart, said Hey Jim, for my birthday in five years, I’d love a surprise party. In my doctor’s office. Where I find out I’ve been living and/or working within 100 feet of some highly toxic pesticides . I’ve got it all figured out, Jim: How about you require that people who don’t want to be surprised go downtown and sign up on a list with a doctor’s note? And then the rest of us can just roll the dice and get surprised.
Is Jim even reading these bills? It doesn’t matter anyway - we know Jim doesn’t answer to us anyway. His blind faith in the Establishment had made him so out of touch with voters that he didn’t even bother buying www.JimLilly.com .
9 out of 1,134 times - that’s how often Jim Lilly’s disagreed with the party bosses. Lions and tigers and bears - and pesticides! And we’re paying Jim Lilly why?